Say it Ain't So!

Stolen from Natalie Dee

This story makes this seem like an OK idea.

Postmaster General: Mail days may need to be cut

By RANDOLPH E. SCHMID

WASHINGTON (AP) — Massive deficits could force the post office to cut out one day of mail delivery, the postmaster general told Congress on Wednesday, in asking lawmakers to lift the requirement that the agency deliver mail six days a week. If the change happens, that doesn't necessarily mean an end to Saturday mail delivery. Previous post office studies have looked at the possibility of skipping some other day when mail flow is light, such as Tuesday.

Faced with dwindling mail volume and rising costs, the post office was $2.8 billion in the red last year. "If current trends continue, we could experience a net loss of $6 billion or more this fiscal year," Potter said in testimony for a Senate Homeland Security and Governmental Affairs subcommittee.

Total mail volume was 202 billion items last year, over 9 billion less than the year before, the largest single volume drop in history.

And, despite annual rate increases, Potter said 2009 could be the first year since 1946 that the actual amount of money collected by the post office declines.

"It is possible that the cost of six-day delivery may simply prove to be unaffordable," Potter said. "I reluctantly request that Congress remove the annual appropriation bill rider, first added in 1983, that requires the Postal Service to deliver mail six days each week."

"The ability to suspend delivery on the lightest delivery days, for example, could save dollars in both our delivery and our processing and distribution networks. I do not make this request lightly, but I am forced to consider every option given the severity of our challenge," Potter said.

That doesn't mean it would happen right away, he noted, adding that the agency is working to cut costs and any final decision on changing delivery would have to be made by the postal governing board.

If it did become necessary to go to five-day delivery, Potter said, "we would do this by suspending delivery on the lightest volume days."

The Postal Service raised the issue of cutting back on days of service last fall in a study it issued. At that time the agency said the six-day rule should be eliminated, giving the post office, "the flexibility to meet future needs for delivery frequency.

A study done by George Mason University last year for the independent Postal Regulatory Commission estimated that going from six-day to five-day delivery would save the post office more than $1.9 billion annually, while a Postal Service study estimated the saving at $3.5 billion.

The next postal rate increase is scheduled for May, with the amount to be announced next month. Under current rules that would be limited to the amount of the increase in last year's consumer price index, 3.8 percent. That would round to a 2-cent increase in the current 42-cent first class rate.

The agency could request a larger increase because of the special circumstances, but Potter believes that would be counterproductive by causing mail volume to fall even more.

Dan G. Blair, chairman of the Postal Regulatory Commission, noted in his testimony that cutting service could also carry the risk of loss of mail volume. He suggested Congress review both delivery and restrictions it imposed on the closing of small and rural post offices.

The post office's problem is twofold, Potter explained.

"A revolution in the way people communicate has structurally changed the way America uses the mail," with a shift from first-class letters to the Internet for personal communications, billings, payments, statements and business correspondence.

To some extent that was made up for my growth in standard mail — largely advertising — but the economic meltdown has resulted in a drop there also.

Potter also asked that Congress ease the requirement that it make advance payments into a fund to cover future health benefits for retirees. Last year the post office was required to put $5.6 billion into the fund.

"We are in uncharted waters," Potter said. "But we do know that mail volume and revenue — and with them the health of the mail system — are dependent on the length and depth of the current economic recession."

He proposed easing the retirement pre-funding for eight years, while promising that the agency will cover the premiums for retirement health insurance.

At the same hearing the General Accounting Office agreed that the post office is facing an urgent need for help to preserve its financial strength. But the GAO suggested easing the pre-funding requirement for only two years, with Congress to determine the need for more relief later.

Potter noted that the agency has cut costs by $1 billion per year since 2002, reduced its work force by 120,000, halted construction of new facilities except in emergencies, frozen executive salaries and is in the process of reducing its headquarters work force by 15 percent.

Aretha Franklin's Understudy

www.Raahe.Fi

What, exactly, is the modern, cosmopolitan hippo-about-town wearing to this season's formal dinner parties and premiers? I’m glad you asked.

Reasons #36,421, #36,422 and #36,423 why Oklahoma Rocks

Via CNN, Bureau of Labor Statistics, Center on Budget and Spending Priorities, and Mortgage Banker's of America Association.Oklahoma's Unemployment Rate: 4.7 percent

National Average (via BoLS): 7.2 percent

Oklahoma's 2009 Budget Deficit: $0
National Average: $821 million per state (California alone: $13.8 billion)

Oklahoma's Foreclosure Rate: 2.12 percent
National Rate: 2.31 percent

So So Awesome!

What could possibly make this cheeseburger any cooler? Mate it with a bed.

God Bless America!

Psalm 20

Psalm 20
For the director of music. A psalm of David.

1 May the LORD answer you when you are in distress;
may the name of the God of Jacob protect you.

2 May he send you help from the sanctuary
and grant you support from Zion.

3 May he remember all your sacrifices
and accept your burnt offerings.
Selah

4 May he give you the desire of your heart
and make all your plans succeed.

5 We will shout for joy when you are victorious
and will lift up our banners in the name of our God.
May the LORD grant all your requests.

6 Now I know that the LORD saves his anointed;
he answers him from his holy heaven
with the saving power of his right hand.

7 Some trust in chariots and some in horses,
but we trust in the name of the LORD our God.

8 They are brought to their knees and fall,
but we rise up and stand firm.

9 O LORD, save the king!
Answer us when we call!

Seurat Would Be Proud

I am nothing if not on the cutting edge of the ever-evolving artistic landscape. With that in mind, I present to you a new avant garde genre of art: Bubblefiti.

Bubblefiti (bubbles + graffiti) is an organic and totally original technique (though it does bear some resemblance to pointillism, and there's a wee bit of chromoluminarism tossed in for good measure). It was pioneered by my father (as he doodled on the paper covering our table at Garfield's this Christmas), but my sister and I have taken it to a new level and created the definitive works of the method.

What, exactly, is Bubblefiti and how can you, the faithful reader, hitch a ride on this unstoppable freight train straight to artistic excellence? It's easy. You take a crayon and draw a few tiny bubbles (Kelly says they're actually called "grubbles"). Then you pick up a different crayon and draw a few more. It's that simple! And it's that's fun!

It's even better if you can trade canvasses (posterboard or postcards cut from said posterboard) with someone (say, your sister), and let the other artistic genius riff on what you've just created and vice versa. With some free time and freely flowing creative juices, you just might be lucky enough to come up with what the good folks at the Louvre are calling "the most important event in art to come out of Brian's basement this century."

The other fun thing is that when you create such masterpeices, you get to give them artsy-fartsy names. For example, we christened the posterboard piece above "Simian's Summit." Other names in our collections (links below) include Macro, Interrogative, (Polychromasia)(Polychromasia)(Polychromasia), 120/80, Aurelia, Cheshire, Unlimited Nights and Weekends, Rx, Darn the Torpedoes, Garbanzo and McFerrin.

And yes, we are accepting commissions and orders. Vive le Bubblefiti!

Bubblefiti Collection 1
Bubblefiti Collection 2

Where is Robert Frost When You Need Him?

No one has ever called me a great poet (unless you count that one time when I won that Father's Day poetry contest sponsored by the Purcell Register back in '89). That said, I'm pretty gosh darned sure I could have banged out a better chunk of free verse to commemorate Obama's ascension to the throne. Like I said, I'm not particularly accomplished at composing verse and it's very true that I've been known to end a sentence with a preposition. But I don't have three degrees from Ivy League universities, nor have I been a finalist for the Pulitzer Prize.

Praise song for the day
By Elizabeth Alexander

Each day we go about our business, walking past each other, catching each others' eyes or not, about to speak or speaking.

All about us is noise. All about us is noise and bramble, thorn and din, each one of our ancestors on our tongues.

Someone is stitching up a hem, darning a hole in a uniform, patching a tire, repairing the things in need of repair. Someone is trying to make music somewhere with a pair of wooden spoons on an oil drum with cello, boom box, harmonica, voice.

A woman and her son wait for the bus.

A farmer considers the changing sky; A teacher says, "Take out your pencils. Begin."

We encounter each other in words, words spiny or smooth, whispered or declaimed; words to consider, reconsider. We cross dirt roads and highways that mark the will of someone and then others who said, "I need to see what's on the other side; I know there's something better down the road." We need to find a place where we are safe; We walk into that which we cannot yet see.

Say it plain, that many have died for this day. Sing the names of the dead who brought us here, who laid the train tracks, raised the bridges, picked the cotton and the lettuce, built brick by brick the glittering edifices they would then keep clean and work inside of.

Praise song for struggle; praise song for the day. Praise song for every hand-lettered sign; The figuring it out at kitchen tables. Some live by "Love thy neighbor as thy self." Others by first do no harm, or take no more than you need. What if the mightiest word is love, love beyond marital, filial, national. Love that casts a widening pool of light. Love with no need to preempt grievance. In today's sharp sparkle, this winter air, anything can be made, any sentence begun. On the brink, on the brim, on the cusp - praise song for walking forward in that light.

Robert Frost she ain't. Here's my humble submission:

A Poem for the New President
By BK

There once was a man named Barack,
Republicans' aims he did block,
American's hopes he engendered,
He won in November,
And now I start fretting 'round the clock.

I'm just riffin' here. Gimme a few months and an audience of millions and I will probably do better.

Survey Says...

• What time did you get up this morning? 7 a.m. on the dot
  
• Diamonds or pearls? Meh
• What was the last film you saw at the cinema? The Spirit
• What is your favorite TV show? Arrested Development, 30 Rock, Good Eats, M*A*S*H, King of the Hill, Monk
• What do you usually have for breakfast? I don't
• What is your middle name? Killis
• What food do you dislike? Banana
• What is your favorite CD at moment? Endless Summer, The Beach Boys
• What kind of car do you drive? 2002 Chevy Monte Carlo SS
• Favorite sandwich? Turkey and cheese
• What characteristic do you despise? arrogance
• Favorite item of clothing? t-shirts
• If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? A sweet-week, multi-nation trip that circumnavigates the globe (US to Rome to Cairo to New Delhi to Beijing to Tokyo to Sydney to Ushuia, to Antarctica and back to the US). Wait, that doesn't sound too relaxing. But to me, travel isn't really about R & R; it's about doing things. If I want to rest, I'll either stay home or go to Oklahoma.
• Favorite brand of clothing? n/a
• Where would you retire to? somewhere in Oklahoma
• Favorite sport to watch? College football
• Furthest place you are sending this? n/a
• Person you expect to send it back first? n/a
• When is your birthday? Jun. 15, except in 2004, when it was April 15.
• Are you a morning person or a night person? night
• What is your shoe size? 11
• Pets? No
• Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with us? nope
• What did you want to be when you were little? Architect, advertising exec
  
• How are you today? Not too shabby
• What is your favorite candy? M&Ms, Reese's, Hershey bars, Fifth Avenues
• What is your favorite flower? meh
• What is a day on the calendar you are looking forward to? I don't know. June 15?
• What are you listening to right now? Radio coverage of the inauguration
• What was the last thing you ate? some oyster crackers last night
• Do you wish on stars? No
• If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Blue (plain blue)
• How is the weather right now? Snowing!
• The first person you spoke to on the phone today? No one yet, but I did leave a voice mail for Gary up on the 6th floor
• Favorite soft drink? Dr (no period) Pepper
• Favorite restaurant? Ted's, Chili's, Sonic
• Real hair color? Brownish?
• What was your favorite toy as a child? GI Joes
• Summer or winter? Winter
• Hugs or kisses? Probably hugs
• Chocolate or Vanilla? Chocolate
• Coffee or tea? water
• When was the last time you cried? This morning, listening to a 3rd grader say the Pledge of Allegiance on the radi0. I tear up pretty easily.
• What is under your bed? dust bunnies, Bogeyman
• What did you do last night? colored, watched TV
• What are you afraid of? heights, kittens, secretaries, drowning, our new president
• Salty or sweet? Salty
• How many keys on your key ring? 9
• How many years at your current job? 3.5
• Favorite day of the week? Friday
• How many towns have you lived in? 6 (Washington, Durant, Bartlesville, Shawnee, Oklahoma City, Jefferson City)
• Do you make friends easily? Not really, no
• How many people will you send this to? gazillions
• What is your current occupation? staff writer for a small religious newspaper
• What color is your underwear? Grey
• Have you ever dyed your hair? no
• Do you wear contacts or glasses? glassess
• Pets? none, although there was a puppy looking cute outside my garage yesterday
  
• Favorite month? December
• Favorite food? Chicken-Fried Steak
• Favorite day of the year? Thanksgiving Day
• What do you do to vent anger? drive
• How many times have you been in love? none, i think
• Cherry or Blueberry? Blueberry
• What is on the floor of your closet? shoe boxes, other boxes, a rather large oxygen condenser that attaches to my sleep mask
• Favorite smell? bacon, onion burgers
• Who inspires you? God, my family friends,
• Plain, cheese or spicy hamburgers? cheese
• Favorite car? my current car (if it had a supercharger AND rear wheel drive AND a manual transmission), an early 70s Triumph TR6
• Siblings? 1
• Eye color? hazel-ish
• Innie or Outie: innie
• What are you wearing right now? Khakis, blue shirt with company logo
• Righty or lefty? righty
  Favorites
• Number: 17
• Boys name: Apollos, Andy
• Girls Name: don't laugh, but i like the name "Arabella"
• Juice: Orange
• Breakfast: homemade: biscuits and gravy; on the go: mcdonald's sausage biscuit and hashbrowns
  
  Have You Ever...
• Smoked: no
• Bungee jumped: no
• Made yourself throw up: no
• Gone skinny dipping: no
• Broken a bone: yes (on my 16th birthday)
• Played Truth or Dare: Nope. I missed out
• Been in a police car: yes
• Been on a plane: yes, seeming hundreds of times
• Came close to dying: not that I can think of
• Been in a sauna: yes
• Been in a hot tub: yes
• Swam in the ocean: yes
• Fallen asleep in school: only once that I remember, in Economics
  
• Broken someone's heart: don't think so
• Cried when someone died: yes
• Cried in school: yes
• Fell off your chair: yes, more often that is normal, I fear
• Sat by the phone all night waiting for someone to call: no
• Saved AIM conversation: yes
• Saved e-mails: yes
• Made out with just a friend: nope
• Been cheated on: no
  

Ever Had...

• Chicken pox: yes
• Sore throat: yes
• Stitches: over both eyes and on my lips and nose
• Broken nose: yes
  

Do You...

• Believe in love at first sight: Yes
• Like picnics: sure, but only if there is shade readily available
• Like school: Yep. I miss college
  

Who...

• ... was the last person you danced with: hmm... some bridesmaid at Chris' wedding 2 years ago. I don't remember her name. I'm not a dancer.
• ... makes you smile: most people
• ... did you last yell at: Chris, because our phones don't to play nicely together
• ... told you they loved you? my grandma
  

• Do you like filling these out: more than I'd like to admit
• Do you wear contact lenses or glasses: glasses
• Do you like yourself: pretty much
• Do you get along with your family: yep
• Do you hate someone in your family: nope.
• Where do you want to get married: somewhere in Oklahoma
• Are you a good driver: an excellent driver. Yes, I'm an excellent driver. The two tint tickets don't count.
• Are you a good singer: no, but i enjoy it.
  

Today did you...

• Talk to someone you liked: yes
• Buy something: some some dish soap
  
• Get sick: no
• Sing: not yet
• Talked to an ex: no
• Miss someone: yes

Last person who....

• Was in your bed? myself
• Saw you cry: myself
• Made you cry: random third grader saying pledge
• Went to the movies with: Leslie
• You went to the mall with: Leslie
• Ever been in a fight with your pet: no, but I did have to scold my fish back when I had fish
• Been to California:Yes!
• Been to Mexico: Yes!
• Been to Canada: Yes!
• Been to Africa: twice

Random.....

• Do you have a crush on someone: nope
• What books are you reading now: New Kings of Nonfiction
• Best feeling in the world: someone calling in to the office to say they liked the article you wrote
• Do you sleep with a stuffed animal? no
• Piercing/Tattoos? none
• Have you ever liked someone you didn't have a chance with? yes
• Are you lonely right now: on a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being so lonely you're suicidal and 10 being surrounded by friends and loved ones, i'd say i'm sitting pretty at a 7 or 8
• Song that's stuck in your head right now: Put a Banana in Your Ear
• Have you ever played strip poker: no
• Have you ever gotten beat up: no
• Have you ever been in a mosh-pit: not really, but I've seen plenty of them
• Ever liked someone but thought they'd never noticed you? of course
• What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex? face
• Are you too shy to ask someone out? no, but I'm a far cry from overly confident too
• Have you ever fired a gun? yes
• Do you like to travel by plane as opposed to car? planes make me tired
• How many pillows do you sleep with? 1
  

Seriously?

I think I am going to be sick. This may very well be the first sign of the Apocalypse.

Creepiest. Postcard. Ever.

I'm thrilled to add it to my collection, but this one gives me the heebiejeebies.

Holy Space-Time Distortion, Batman!

Run for the hills! It seems that there is some sort of gravitational anomaly, worm hole or possibly a tear in the space-time continuum on the shelf above my desk. I really don't take notice of my Coke collection, but this morning I just happened to glance up there and this bizzare scene greeting me. Forget the LHC; the space-time distortion above my desk is the new threat to the very existence of the world as we know it.