Thank you, Michael Phelps

This makes me ashamed to be a man. It's not so much that John Edwards had an affair (I've never been exactly emotionally invested in his political career), but it's the attitude that nobody seems to care. "Everybody does it." If everybody thinks this way, then I'm also ashamed to be an American. If I had an affair, much less had my affair exposed on national television, I'd hide under a rock and die.

I'd better watch some Olympic swimming to restore my faith in humanity, my gender and my country. Thank you, Michael Phelps. God bless you and your refusal to visit an orthodontist.

(Why I was reading the Huffington Post is irrelevant.)

Um. Wow.

The well-known political analyst, Ludacris, has written a song indicating his support for Barack Obama. Oh goodie! I was on pins and needles wondering who Luda would thrown his considerable political clout behind.

A sample lyric from "Politics: Obama is Here:
Paint the White House black and I'm sure that's got 'em terrified
McCain don't belong in any chair unless he's paralyzed

Still another:
Said I handled his biz and I'm one of his favorite rappers
Well give Luda a special pardon if I'm ever in the slammer
Better yet put him in office, make me your vice president
Hillary hated on you, so that ***** is irrelevant

And here's the video:


Um. Wow. This makes Kanye West's post-Katrina analysis seem like a doctoral thesis defense.

Obama has of course denounced the rapper's sentiment that one of our greatest heroes should be paralyzed (but you can't argue with the logic that Ludacris should be VP). A spokesman said "As Barack Obama has said many, many times in the past, rap lyrics today too often perpetuate misogyny, materialism, and degrading images that he doesn't want his daughters exposed to.

Of course, that doesn't mean Obama isn't a fan of funky beats. In a recent issue of Rolling Stone, Obama praised Ludacris as a man of "great talents" and a "great businessman."

Now, if only Bruce Willis would start rapping, then we could decide the fate of our nation with a rap battle instead of an election.

What's the Definition of Irony?

From London's The Independent, Aug. 6, 2008

Clinton urges monogamy to fight AIDS

Because everyone knows he's the expert on monogamy...

Bill Clinton made a plea yesterday for a new emphasis on monogamy as a key element in the battle against AIDS. The former U.S. president, not noted for his ability to keep his own marriage vows, said it was very important to change people's attitudes to sex.

In an interview with the BBC, recorded in Africa, Clinton told his interviewer that increasing support for monogamy was not just a problem for the continent worst hit by AIDS, but for the world.

"To pretend we can ever get hold of this without dealing with that -- the idea of unprotected sexual relations with unlimited numbers of partners -- I think would be naive."

Experts believe that although there is no evidence that Africans have more sex, the nature of their sexual relationships may help to explain the high rate of AIDS on the continent. Research suggests there is a higher frequency of overlapping sexual partnerships, creating sexual networks that, from an epidemiological point of view, are more efficient at spreading infection.

Serial monogamy and sporadic one-off sexual encounters, as practised in the West, are less effective at spreading infection.

Clinton said the main challenge to fighting AIDS in Africa was improving health services.

He said the foundation he established to promote better treatment for HIV and AIDS was focusing on cost-effective ways to improve national health systems.

"You can get the universal treatment -- the money's there now, if we spend it most effectively. But we don't have the health-care systems to reach out to people, get them tested and diagnosed in a timely fashion, get them on treatment and do the regular followups."

Pardon my French

Yeah, it's in poor taste, but at least it's not as cliched as "Arm, Leg, Firstborn."

Pardon my French, but WHAT THE #$^%?????

Even as gas prices tick north of $4 a gallon, what do the geniuses in Washington do? They propose raising the federal gas tax from 18.4 cents a gallon to 24.3. That's right. I'm having to budget four months ahead so I know I have the $$ to drive back home after Thanksgiving, and those brain-dead morons think the "solution" is to have me pay another dime per gallon straight into the federal coffers. It's little wonder their approval rating is only 14 percent (President Bush's approval rating, interestingly, is 29 percent.) This just proves that neither party has a monopoly on stupid.

Don't get me wrong, I'm a huge fan of the Interstate Highway System and I thoroughly enjoy safe airports and flashing lights and barriers at rail road crossings. But, they were doing fine with that 18.4... what makes them think that now is the right time to increase their allowance? Considering that American's will most likely drive less as taxes and the price per gallon rises (I know I've cut back and changed my driving habits), it's conceivable that upkeep won't even be necessary!

I don't know how much more the American People will take, but I do know this: We got so pissed off at taxes on our tea we started a freakin' war and became a super power. I don't want to see what we'd do over gasoline., but if anyone wants to start throwing OPEC execs overboard, send me a memo.

Why can't we all shut up and agree to drill here, drill now (and pay less)?

In the words of The Great Philosopher, AAUGH!