Gosh, You're Purdy

Well played, McCain. Well played.

BTW, were Sarah Palin and Tina Fey separated at birth?

Save it for Posterity

This is the kind of thing we need to be putting in time capsules.

My Olympic Fever has Broken.

Thank goodness it's over. Now that the closing ceremony is behind us, I can finally start going to bed before 3 a.m. and stop caring about drama on the Cuban ping pong team.

In other Olympic news, I want one of those awesome mono-cycle things.

Spare the Rod...

Because the ACLU has nothing better to do, they're all upset over the use of corporal punishment in our nation's schools. CNN reports that in the 06-07 school year, schools reported paddling or spanking more than 200,000 students.

".... Beating kids teaches violence, and it doesn't stop bad behavior," wrote Alice Farmer, the author of a joint report from Human Rights Watch and the American Civil Liberties Union. "Corporal punishment discourages learning, fails to deter future misbehavior and at times even provokes it."

"Beating" kids may teach violence, but we're not talking about Singapore-style caning. Spanking/swatting/paddling kids teaches them that unacceptable behavior yields unpleasant results and it sure as heck discourages bad behavior. I can distinctly remember hearing the swats from the principal's paddle echo through the halls of my elementary school. One look in kids eyes and I promise you would be convinced that the fear of being paddled kept behavior in check.

Beyond corporal punishment in schools, I remember to a T the exact moment I realized that right behavior meant no more spankings. Once that light bulb went off, the spankings went away and everybody was happy.

"When you talk to local school officials, they point to the fact that it's quick and it's effective -- and that's true," Farmer said. "It doesn't take much time to administer corporal punishment, and you don't have to hire someone to run a detention or an after-school program."

Well, duh. Finally, ACLU Alice is talking sense. But she just has to keep talking...

"We need forms of discipline that makes children understand why what they did was wrong."

I'm not a child psychologist, but I did spend several years as a child back in the 1980s and I'm here to testify that 99 times out of 100, I knew darn well why what I did was wrong.

Since real discipline is out, I guess she'd be in favor of detention. Of course sooner or later, parents will complain that students are being embarrassed or singled out and it too will be considered cruel and unusual. Besides, anyone who has ever seen The Breakfast Club can tell you that while it may seem like a punishment initially, the long term effects of detention are kids running rampant through the halls, dancing in the library, smoking pot and creating art with their dandruff. Un.Accept.Able. The only other idea I can think of is time out, which to anyone over three, would actually be a reward.

The bottom line (Ha! Get it? "Bottom" line?) is that spanking works. Sure, it's not fun and it probably does "hurt me more than it hurts you," but it works! As the Bible says, "He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him" (Proverbs 13:24). Of course the key of this verse is love. "Beating" is unacceptable and wrong. Discipline is love. In a way, that's why the "hurts me more than it hurts you line" works. When I disobeyed, I was not only disrupting polite society, but I was "hurting" my parents and authority figures.

Interestingly, two of the few remaining state that love their students are Missouri with 5,159 swats and Oklahoma with a whopping 14,828 (Ha! Whopping!). Look at the "blue" states on the map below and ask yourself, "Where to all the normal, happy people live?" For once, I'm glad I'm proud to be from a blue state.

Two more reviews

FYI, I've just posted my reviews of Pineapple Express and Tropic Thunder on A Rough Cut.

Now Whisk the Cyanide into the Eggs until They're Light and Fluffy

According to recently declassified documents, Julia Child - Yes, THAT Julia Child - was a U.S. spy. How awesome is that?

Of course this opens the door for the entire Food Network to be spies... watch Paula Dean be the one to capture Osama Bin Laden.

Dream Big

Work hard, keep your nose clean, and maybe, just maybe with a little bit of luck you, too, can achieve your dream!

Thank you, Michael Phelps

This makes me ashamed to be a man. It's not so much that John Edwards had an affair (I've never been exactly emotionally invested in his political career), but it's the attitude that nobody seems to care. "Everybody does it." If everybody thinks this way, then I'm also ashamed to be an American. If I had an affair, much less had my affair exposed on national television, I'd hide under a rock and die.

I'd better watch some Olympic swimming to restore my faith in humanity, my gender and my country. Thank you, Michael Phelps. God bless you and your refusal to visit an orthodontist.

(Why I was reading the Huffington Post is irrelevant.)

Press Release

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Brian has announced an open invitation to Zhang Yimou and Zhang Jigang, the producers of the 2008 Olympic Opening Ceremonies, to plan the celebration marking the 27th anniversary of his birth on June 15, 2009.

"I had it narrowed down to Zhang/Zhang and one other, but after seeing what they did in Beijing, there really wasn't any question," he said.

Brian was particularly drawn to the unique ways the Chinese duo incorporated that nation's long and rich history into the production and the cinematic approach.

"Given that my personal story is so much more interesting than that of China, I can't wait to see how they illustrate my life."

Just as the Beijing Opening Ceremonies far surpassed any in recent memory, Brian promised that any Zhang/Zhang production associated with his "brand" would be "bigger and better than anything Beijing could even imagine."

Due in large part to the secrecy of Brian's plans, no specific details about the celebration have been released although experts are speculating that there will be cake and possibly gifts. Brian did not comment on details, but only offered this tantalizing tidbit:

"You thought they had fireworks for the Opening Ceremonies? You thought eight gazillion glow-in-the-dark drummers doing tai chi in perfect synchronization was awe-inspiring? Bah, you ain't seen nothing yet. You've seen what they can do with three or so billion people... just wait until they get the full force of Brian behind them. "

Um. Wow.

The well-known political analyst, Ludacris, has written a song indicating his support for Barack Obama. Oh goodie! I was on pins and needles wondering who Luda would thrown his considerable political clout behind.

A sample lyric from "Politics: Obama is Here:
Paint the White House black and I'm sure that's got 'em terrified
McCain don't belong in any chair unless he's paralyzed

Still another:
Said I handled his biz and I'm one of his favorite rappers
Well give Luda a special pardon if I'm ever in the slammer
Better yet put him in office, make me your vice president
Hillary hated on you, so that ***** is irrelevant

And here's the video:


Um. Wow. This makes Kanye West's post-Katrina analysis seem like a doctoral thesis defense.

Obama has of course denounced the rapper's sentiment that one of our greatest heroes should be paralyzed (but you can't argue with the logic that Ludacris should be VP). A spokesman said "As Barack Obama has said many, many times in the past, rap lyrics today too often perpetuate misogyny, materialism, and degrading images that he doesn't want his daughters exposed to.

Of course, that doesn't mean Obama isn't a fan of funky beats. In a recent issue of Rolling Stone, Obama praised Ludacris as a man of "great talents" and a "great businessman."

Now, if only Bruce Willis would start rapping, then we could decide the fate of our nation with a rap battle instead of an election.

What's the Definition of Irony?

From London's The Independent, Aug. 6, 2008

Clinton urges monogamy to fight AIDS

Because everyone knows he's the expert on monogamy...

Bill Clinton made a plea yesterday for a new emphasis on monogamy as a key element in the battle against AIDS. The former U.S. president, not noted for his ability to keep his own marriage vows, said it was very important to change people's attitudes to sex.

In an interview with the BBC, recorded in Africa, Clinton told his interviewer that increasing support for monogamy was not just a problem for the continent worst hit by AIDS, but for the world.

"To pretend we can ever get hold of this without dealing with that -- the idea of unprotected sexual relations with unlimited numbers of partners -- I think would be naive."

Experts believe that although there is no evidence that Africans have more sex, the nature of their sexual relationships may help to explain the high rate of AIDS on the continent. Research suggests there is a higher frequency of overlapping sexual partnerships, creating sexual networks that, from an epidemiological point of view, are more efficient at spreading infection.

Serial monogamy and sporadic one-off sexual encounters, as practised in the West, are less effective at spreading infection.

Clinton said the main challenge to fighting AIDS in Africa was improving health services.

He said the foundation he established to promote better treatment for HIV and AIDS was focusing on cost-effective ways to improve national health systems.

"You can get the universal treatment -- the money's there now, if we spend it most effectively. But we don't have the health-care systems to reach out to people, get them tested and diagnosed in a timely fashion, get them on treatment and do the regular followups."

Let Them Eat Cake!

Last year, to celebrate my sister's homecoming from eight weeks in Africa, I arranged to surprise her in the airport in Washington, D.C. just after she went through customs.

How was I going to top that this summer? By watching too much Food Network, that's how. Weeks before Kelly's return I joked to my mom that I was going to go all Ace of Cakes and bake a Welcome Home Cake. She thought I was kidding right up until the moment I started assembling the ingredients for fondant the night before Kelly's arrival.

The cake itself was two layers of chocolate cake cut into the profile of Oklahoma, iced (more or less), covered in homemade green fondant, then topped with "Welcome Home!" and four elephants (to represent our family and Malawi).

Sure, it's not Duff quality, but it's pretty good for my first effort! Kelly was definitely surprised, and I was more than a little bit proud of myself. The cake was also quite yummy.

State Fair, here I come!

More cakes pix here!