Well-done, Please

Grillin' in the Rain

Doo-dloo-doo-doo-doo
Doo-dloo-doo-doo-doo-doo
Doo-dloo-doo-doo-doo-doo
Doo-dloo-doo-doo-doo-doo...

I'm grillin' in the rain
Just grillin' in the rain
What a glorious feelin'
I'm happy again

I'm laughing at clouds
So dark up above
The sun's in my heart
And I'm ready for love

Let the stormy clouds chase
Everyone join the race
Come on with the rain
I've a six steaks to place

I walk down the lane
With a happy refrain
Just grillin',
Grillin' in the rain.

The last three times I cooked on my massive charcoal grill, it was snowing, sleeting and finally raining. Good times. There's something undeniably manly about grilling (which is why it's the only type of cooking in which a majority of men will take the time to become competent). Toss in stupidity of standing out in the rain trying to make fire, and it's uber-manly. It's primal. It's a link thousands of years into the past to Adam who, after being kicked out of the garden of Eden, realized he had not just been naming a list of creatures, he'd been creating a menu.

If you want an example that didn't damn all mankind to a life of sin and proves the holiness of grilling in less than dry conditions, take Elijah. In I Kings 18, Elijah the prophet made a bonfire, threw on some steaks then poured water all over it, only to have God prove his might by hurling down great fireballs from Heaven, thus proving that Baal was false god.

So far God has not made Himself available to help get my fires to light, but a good dose of lighter fluid - even the cheap generic kind - will overcome all but the most stubborn precipitation.

Sure you, do sort of have to rush the meat from the grill to the great indoors before the rain and mar it's well-done goodness, but that's a small price to pay for the hissing and sizzling that occurs each time a rain drop hits the 500-degree lid of the grill. The best is when it's covered in snow and ice: it slowly begins to melt then all at once you have a water fall gushing onto your deck while your burgers are getting ready to flip.