We can't all be Catholic. Sigh.

I'm glad I'm not a Catholic for a variety of reasons, but one of the major perks is that they have a substantial corner of the fast food industry catering to their every whim. Case in point: the sudden resurgence of the Fillet-O-Fish at McDonald's and other such fishy food items just in time for Lent! I've never tried a Fillet-O-Fish, but if the hamburgers at McD's are that iffy, I don't want to go anywhere near the fish. Still, I appreciate the effort.

Although the Fillet-O-Fish (which was created just for Lent to keep a Cincinnati McD's afloat during this anti-beef on Fridays season) is available year 'round, its marketing campaign has just now hit its stride. KFC has brought back the campaign for their Fish Snacker (complete with papal blessing!). Even Long John Silver's, which would seem to be Lent-friendly anyway, has rolled out new menu items to commemorate this Holy season of sacrifice. (Because nothing suggests faithfulness and sacrifice like choosing LJS over Burger King for the five Fridays in that 40-day stretch.)

Then there's Taco Bell (see photo above). The 40 days of Lent represent the 40 days Jesus spent alone in the desert, where he fasted (completely... not even a single taco) and endure temptation from Satan just before His trial/crucifixion. I'm sure even today He's touched by good little Catholics "suffering" through that 1/2 pound Cheesy Bean Burrito with the side of Cheesy Fiesta Potatoes instead of cutting into a nice KC Strip. Actually, that burrito does kind of sound like torture. Cheesy Fiesta torture to foreshadow Christ's eventual Cheesy Fiesta crucifixion.

But back to fish. Even my favorite local hole-in-the-wall dive restaurant here in Jeff specializes in (giant) fried catfish on Fridays this time of year. At noon at the end of the work week, I don't mind pretending to be a Catholic. Now if McDonald's would just put that diner's giant catfish fillet on a sesame seed bun, that'd be something.

What would it look like if restaurants catered to Baptists? Oh weight (I mean wait). We already have those. They're called buffets.

Seriously, a 1/2 pound bean burrito?