[I] are the Champions!

Regardless of who we elect today, the real winner is:

a) The People
b) The American Dream
c) Democracy
d) None of the above

The answer is d) None of the above. Who is the real winner? The winner is yours truly.

I have successfully exorcised the McDonald's-Monopoly Demon!

Where, O oily hash brown, is thy sting? Where, O deceptive chance at a Dodge Viper, is thy victory? Yes, you were strong, Ronald McDonald! Yes, you were mighty, Uncle Pennybags! But I was stronger! I was mightier! Gaze in crumpling, awestruck defeat as I beat my chest in a primal rage and let out a hair-raising roar of defiant victory. I am Free Will. I OWN YOU, Monopoly at McDonald's! I OWN YOU! May the glorious victory chant echo through the chambers of eternity: I are the Champions, my friends / I kept on fighting, till the end! / No time for losers, / 'cause I are the champions... of the world!

Don't expect the liberal media to report this little news item. They're too obsessed with this so-called "historic" election. Journalism is dead. Sigh.