2.2.09

25 Things About Brian OR The DMV's 25 Coolest Brothers of All Time

I did a quick Google search for "25" and this is what I got.

1. One of my only true “life goals” is to set foot on all seven continents (including Antarctica) before I turn 30. I’ve knocked out North America, Europe and Africa. There is some small dispute as to whether I’ve been to Asia (Russia) or South America (Panama). Just to be safe, I don’t count them. If I haven’t accomplished this goal by June 15, 2012, I plan on taking out a large loan and hitting them all at once, ala Around the World in 80 Days. Another goal: See Paul Simon perform live.

2. I love both NPR and Rush Limbaugh.

3. I have never seen Titanic. God willing, I never will.

4. My secret shame: I enjoy watching E!.

5. Last year I saw 53 movies, spending more than four days in movie theaters. I only bought popcorn twice.

6. I have met and interviewed Ben Stein. He wore Chuck Taylors with his suit.

7. I do not make friends quickly or easily. I am too reticent, then suddenly realize it and subsequently try too hard.

8. My greatest character flaw (to the extent that I am able to see and identify such things in myself) is that I am a fence-sitter. I prefer to call it “thoughtful and easygoing.” I think I would be a better (or at least more exciting) person if I were more decisive. I'd do it, but I'd have to carefully weigh the pros and cons...

9. I broke my arm on my 16th birthday in a rather spectacular four-wheeler stunt gone wrong. It made getting my license and driving my 5-speed rather difficult.

10. I have a horrible memory for names. I would have forgotten my own roommate's name my junior year if he hadn't been named Brian.

11. I have an unnatural affection for postcards. I have sent my sister a postcard everyday she has been at OBU. I do not know what I will do when she graduates in May. (I will have sent more than 850.) As for my own collection, I have received postcards from 34 countries and about as many states.

12. Dr Pepper is my non-water beverage of choice, although I have not had one in 2009 as Step 1 in the 12sBBaWLP (12-Step Brian Betterment and Weight Loss Program). Despite my affinity for the good Doctor, I collect Coca-Cola bottles from around the world. I have bottles of various shapes, sizes and languages from USA, Mexico, Canada, Panama, Malawi, South Africa, France, England, Spain, Hungary, Romania, Holland, Russia and Iraq.

13. I am fiercely loyal to my home state of Oklahoma and cannot wait to move back there. The Joads were nothing but a bunch of lazy quitters who spit in the eye of Paradise on Earth. Boomer Sooner!

14. Grammar, spelling, editing and proofreading are not listed among my list of many many talents (and yet I pursued a career as a journalist?). Strangely, I am quite adept at compound modifiers.

15. I will probably never finish my master’s degree. Unless I decide to quit my job and move to Kansas City. I will probably never finish my master’s degree.

16. Pepperoni is the ultimate lunch meat.

17. Speaking of pepperoni… It makes my blood boil when pizza buffets do not have a steady and constant supply of pepperoni. It is the single most popular topping in the nation and there is no excuse for a buffet to ever be without a pepperoni pie. There is also no excuse for putting a single pepperoni pizza out and being surprised that it is gone in 12 seconds. I have walked out of several pizza establishments without paying when the buffet’s variety or supply has not met my standards. "You should just ask and I'm sure they'd bring one out for you." No, I shouldn't have to ask. It's a simple law of nature, people: Americans love pepperoni. How hard is it to grasp that? I have since stopped going all together, and the mere mention of them raises my blood pressure. Gah, people. Seriously.

18. I have a perfect driving record, excepting two tickets this summer for having “illegal vision reduction material” (i.e.: the state of Missouri thinks my window tint is too dark). The cost of the ticket for such an offense is more than twice what I would have paid for going 14 over in a 60 mph zone. I do not count those two tickets and still consider driving record to be perfect.

19. I have worn glasses since I was in third grade, and cannot imagine my life without them. I tried contacts for a few weeks when I was 16 (the same week I broke my arm, in fact), but preferred spectacles.

20. My greatest fear is that I hit my peak too early in life.

21. I have been to Space Camp. The 1986 film of the same name is a surprisingly accurate portrayal of the experience. I have an awesome video of the 12-year-old me in various simulators decked out in Carolina Panther fan-wear sporting epic chapped lips and an extreme southern accent.

22. In college I had surgery on my nose to help prevent snoring. The procedure was an epic failure as I remained a snorer of Olympic caliber. However, the surgery did have an awesome name: septoplasty and partial turbinectomy. I have since started using a CPAP machine and am sleeping like a baby.

23. If I were to suddenly come into a large sum of money, I would get my pilot’s license.

24. I very much enjoy choosing and giving gifts. It is without a doubt my “love language.”

25. I think “Apollos” would be an awesome name for my first-born son. Not “Apoll-o,” but “Apoll-os.” It comes from several verses in the New Testament, among them Acts. 18:24 (“A Jew named Apollos, a native Alexandrian, an eloquent man who was powerful in the Scriptures, arrived in Ephesus”). For short we could call him “Paul” or “Paulie” and thus honor my father.

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